Tonight, for the first time ever, I think I actually played the piano in front of another person. Not just "played" it, but really played that big scary beautiful instrument. Learning to be brave - this is one way out of at least 100 I'm working on right now... Saturday I have my first voice lesson in over a year. Gotta be brave... brave... | |
The gate is wide, the road is paved in moderation The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in Welcome to the middle ground It's safe and sound and Until now it's where I've been 'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything But it's been love, Your love that cuts the strings So long status quo I think I just let go You make me wanna be brave The way it always was Is no longer good enough You make me wanna be brave Brave, brave I am small and I speak when I'm spoken to But I am willing to risk it all I say Your name, just Your name, and I'm ready to jump Even ready to fall Why did I take this vow of compromise? Why did I try to keep it all inside? I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame And every storm will start with just a drop of rain But if You believe in me That changes everything So long... I'm gone... I want to be BRAVE |
Sunday, June 19, 2005
I am now officially home for the summer. Got back from MDA camp yesterday, and now I'm home and not going anywhere! I'm excited. I need to catch up with my family and like 100 other people. This summer is really jam-packed. Good stuff, but soooooooooo much to do. Wow. Feeling a little melancholy, sorry guys. A better update with lots of thoughts and reflections will coming along soon. While I'm at it, let me also say that to all of my amazing, dear friends, wherever you are, I love you and I'm going to try really really hard to keep in touch with or spend lots of time with all of you. You all mean the world to me, and that's everyone - Brentwoodians, Girls Staters, Penn friends, everybody. I count myself incredibly blessed when I think of how incredible you all are. I hope you all know that! Okay, done being sentimental. Gotta go make dinner with my brother for my daddy. Pray for the safety of my family and the condition of our kitchen, haha!!! Love and peace to all. |
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Well, I'm home from Girls State. Wow. That's about all I can say about it right now. It was really really challenging but it was also truly amazing, and I know now more than ever that Girls State is written on my heart forever. It is a part of me and I am a part of it. I am truly overwhelmed by the magnitude of its impact. Because I'm really not capable of expressing my feelings or relating my experiences right now, I'm going to include what my dear friend Leigh, one of our 1st-year junior counselors, wrote about it. Love and peace to all. Well, the 59th session of Volunteer Girls State is coming to a close. I will be coming home tomorrow, and walking away from the most loving, talented, spirited, passionate, God-filled women I have ever met. Every year, they bring with them a spirit of devotion to a program that they believe in with their whole hearts. They bless the counselors and delegates alike every night with evening prayers called vespers, which range from moving replacatory monuments of Iwo Jima to interpretive dances that stir the senses. They bring about feelings and emotions that we would otherwise put off as foolish. The Lord has blessed me with this group in my life for a reason. They encourage me and they believe in me. Although they have basically only known me for about two weeks in reality, the love and faith that they shower on me are matched by no one beside my mother. I can never express the love that I have for this program, and when I say program that includes the people. The program is the people. Without the passion of the Lord, this would truly be a place where ordinary things happen to ordinary people. But this place is so much more than that. Everyone that comes here as a delegate has that chance to be the person they have ALWAYS wanted to be but were too afraid of other people's opinions. This is a place where everyone is truly equal and where the possibilities are truly endless. This is a place where love is shared generously. This is a place I call home. This is a place where people truly love me for me. Love ridiculously, Leigh Fawbush | |
So I hear that Erin Roberts has found my Xanga. I also hear that she made jazz choir, and I'm really super proud of her and everyone else who made it or who even tried out. Congrats everyone. Ah, home sweet home... you know it's crazy, I really thought it would be harder to be back here in Brentwood. No offense to anyone here, it just felt like I'd been away so long and I really felt settled in at Penn. It was hard to leave. But now I'm here and I seem to fit right back in, it's amazing - praise God. I also sense that there's some really great healing/rebuilding coming up in a certain relationship - stuff I've waited for pretty much all year. I know things will be different, and I have a very strong feeling they'll be better. I'm very happy about that. My family is great. My brother's cowbell solo was the hit of the jazz band concert. He also made vocal percussion for the jazz choir next year. I don't think he reads my Xanga, so to all my readers who know Jim - talk him into joining choir his senior year. It can be an ongoing process throughout the year, but let the persuasion begin... teehee... It seems I have acquired a pretty serious accent. Of course it will be gone in the very near future, but I've already been told several times that I sound funny. Ferrell won't leave me alone about it. I'm working on the southern thing, I promise! And to my friends in Philly, fear not - I'll lose the southern just as fast if not faster than I'll lose the "northern" when I get back to Penn. You know what's really funny about being here? I feel old. Like, not old old, but... like, there's a huge difference between graduating from high school and having finished a year of college. I feel like a different person. And... it's cool. I feel very... empowered. And even though it's mildly embarrassing to hear teachers and such tell me how grown up I am, truth be told, I really like it. I feel really good. Growing up isn't so bad. Well, before I wrap this up, I have two little shout-outs: CONGRATS, CLASS OF 2005!!! and PENN FRIENDS, I LOVE YA AND MISS YA!!! Peace! |
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