You must come! Unless you, like, live in Tennessee or some other state. Tickets are on sale now! Life is crazy, though kinda slowing down at the moment as well... Classes are slowing down, FM is picking up (obviously). But life is good. I get to see my mommy in less than 3 days and my dad and bro (and mommy again) in about 2 weeks. I'm totally stoked. Haha. I just used the word stoked. What's on my mind these days? Well, let's see... the two biggest things would have to be 1) my future... well, at least the next year and a half of it and 2) church stuff. Short elaborations follow: I'm trying to figure out where I want to study abroad next year. Obviously, it will be in a German-speaking country. I've gone ahead and basically narrowed it down to Germany or Austria. Thing is, I'm just not totally sold on Penn's programs, which are in Berlin and Munich, so that means I have find a program on my own. And my biggest challenge is trying to find a way to incorporate lots of music classes and probably education classes (or even music ed? ja?) in addition to the German. Which occaisionally sends me into thinking, "Am I'm actually going to major in German?" "Could I be a music major?" "What am I gonna be when (if.. haha) I grow up?" There are some fun and crazy ideas floating around in this head of mine. As for the church stuff... this has been a bit of a toughy. I've been thinking and praying about this for awhile, and I'm just not sure if the church I've been going to is really the right place for me right now. The church and the people are great, but it just doesn't quite seem like the right place for me personally. I feel like I haven't really been challenged or spiritually "nourished" at church this semester, so I think I need to look around at other churches and see if maybe there's a better fit out there. On Sunday I talked to the pastors at the church I've been going to, and that went pretty well. They were very understanding. It just makes me kinda sad, it's tough. I've been to one other church now and plan to follow up there, and also hopefully check out two other churches that several of my friends go to. So I would definitely appreciate prayers that God would give me wisdom and discernment, and also compassion as I make this transition (potentially). Alright, it's past my bedtime and I'm getting up early tomorrow to pray with Bri and Ashley... oh man. Wow. Much much love to everyone!!! | |
Woohoo!!! It's November!!! I realized this very early this morning and it just gave me this little burst of happiness for some reason. Thought I'd share. | |
Totally amazing... We sang "Brave" tonight for FamPAN (our first "gig"!!) and it was totally incredible!!! Things that made it rock: 1. Holy Spirit :) 2. Ashley sounded soooooooooooooo beautiful, especially when you could hear her voice through the entire concert hall... took my breath away 3. Everyone seemed to just have sooooooooooo much fun up there 4. We were jammin'! 5. I really felt like we were telling the story. And I was personally blessed because that song was very much my story (and still ought to be) God's faithfulness became so beautiful apparent to me. It occurred to me up there... and this is crazy, but... I can't believe the contrast between tonight and where I was and what I was doing a year ago today. (I'm weird and I actually specifically remember.) God changed me so much and it made my life so much better! And it is only by His grace, mercy, patience, and persistence that I was able to experience that change. The way it had always been was no longer good enough, and things aren't that way anymore! It's so great! 6. We are such a FAMILY and I know that I am incredibly blessed to be a part of that family. I know I don't deserve it. But I'm so thankful for it. It's always humbling and also encouraging to be around these amazing followers of Christ. 7. Did I mention it was ridiculously FUN? :) FMers, I love y'all!!!!! |
Monday, October 10, 2005
"Come Home" - Overflow All my hopes and dreams came true today My life won't be the same You opened up my eyes and let the healing begin You brought me hope within You took away the chains that once held me down Now I can hear You say Come home, come home You're calling me into your arms I've been gone, for so long I can hear You calling out my name I can't believe how much You sacrificed You chose death to give me life I won't cry for myself anymore I've found what I\'ve been looking for You were with me all this time You've been watching me for so long I can hear You calling out my name I've been waiting, anticipating, patiently waiting for you |
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Short update... The 05-06 Full Measure group ROCKS my socks off. What a cool group! We just got back from the retreat, which was amazing. We had lots of fun bonding time and I can sense that we're going to be a very tight-knit group this year. And did I mention that everyone is so awesome?? I'm sooooooooo excited!!! I had my first voice lesson on Friday from an absolutely amazing teacher. I was like going crazy, she's so awesome. Her voice is absolutely beautiful, she is sooooo sweet and she wants to work on fun high stuff with me (coloratura, for music buffs) and she seems so enthusiastic and I'm just like... wow. Normally it takes me a long time to get used to taking private lessons from somebody, but we just clicked right away. I learned SO MUCH just in one lesson! Wow! And it was so cool because I actually had really prayed that God would bless it in some way, and He was so there. I'm sooooooo happy. God is sooooooooo good. He gave us music and then He gave us AWESOME music!!! Yay!!! | |
I gave a testimony at Cru tonight - yes, that means Thursday night, which became yesterday like 4 hours ago... I don't have class on Fridays, heh heh... Anyways. I gave a testimony about what God taught me this summer about fellowship/relationships/what it really means to be part of a family, part of the body of Christ. And for the first time ever in the history of my name being Christina, my testimony was actually organized in a logical way by the grace of God - you all know how much I like to ramble. (Like I'm doing right now.) But since it's actually organized and understandable, I thought I'd contribute it to Xanga, since I never really wrote about it explicitly this summer. Three reasons why I was afraid/anxious/nervous about going back to my home church at the beginning of the summer: 1. Conflict/changes in relationship with h.s. choir director - I felt awkward about it, didn't know what to expect, was afraid she wouldn't really care anymore 2. BCN has no college ministry in the summer and the oldest kids in the youth group are several years younger me, so there was no ministry that I fit into by default 3. I felt "out of the loop." Had I been gone long enough that people had sort of forgotten about me or no longer cared as much about me? Arriving at home actually felt pretty good. I was happy to be back, and people were happy to see me. But I still felt disconnected. Even at the end of June, when I'd been at home more than a month, if you'd asked me I would've told you I wasn't really fellowshiping with my church, wasn't enjoying the body of Christ. I wasn't sure if I was part of the family. Four events that changed my idea of what it meant to be part of a family: 1. Choir director and pastor went to Europe for 2 weeks, and the youth group was gone for one of those two weeks. All the people I normally associated with by default were taken away. I realized that I was closing myself off from the family because I wasn't pouring into the whole family. 2. I found a place to serve, helping out with 3rd-5th grade Sunday school. I always knew in my head that you go to church to serve and not to be served, but I realized I hadn't been living that out. Getting involved in something where I could serve and learn at the same time gave me a sense of purpose at church and gave me connections I would never have made (with kids and their families) otherwise. 3. I got to know and grow close to a family that was hurting and needed prayer. God laid it on my heart to really invest in praying for them and following up with them, asking how they were doing and getting to know each member of the family. He gave me a heart to suffer with them and to rejoice with them as well. (And allowed me to witness the power of prayer in a huge and awesome way.) 4. Choir director and pastor came back, and I finally learned what it means to love without fear. In a Bible study over the summer I'd learned what the verse "Love never fails" really means. We may think God's love doesn't fail, but our love seems to fail all the time - we love people, and sometimes they reject us. That's failure, right? No. The word for "fail" here actually means "to drop away, to fall." The verse means, in a way, that love never hits the ground. If the person you are loving doesn't "catch" it or receive it, it doesn't just fall - God catches it. God receives it. When we love another person, we love God, regardless of the other person's reaction. And that is the ultimate goal, right? Knowing that finally gave me the courage to break free of the awkwardness and restraint I was holding myself back with. I wanted to love God by loving them, and with that intention, God gave me a completely new heart for them. He gave me compassion for them like I'd never known before. And He gave me a new desire to honor them and love them not for myself - so I could receive their response - and not even for them, because I didn't know how much they wanted it, but for my Father. I wanted to love Him as a daughter should love because I am His daughter and that is such an incredible miracle. And that was when God really healed the wounds I'd had for so long. In the Beth Moore study we did this summer she mentioned that reconciliation with another person will not necessarily bring peace. We need God to heal us. In this case, the new compassion He gave me conquered any desire to find fault. It made me blind to any fault but my own. I saw my selfishness in a way I had been blind to before, and He began to really deal with that in me. So God gave me a new love for my church family - a love that wasn't about me, and was only indirectly about them. It was all about Him. Truly loving requires faith - that God will always receive that love, that love never fails - and genuine selflessness. People may never know how much you love them. They may never know if or how much you pray for them. They might not realize your love or receive it even if it's right in front of their faces. (Fortunately, this didn't happen to me!) But if you want to be part of a family, that doesn't matter. I don't have to talk to my mom everyday to know that she's my mom and she loves me. I don't have to be engaged in conversation with someone at any given moment at church to know that the people there care about me and love me. So just LOVE and you can't go wrong because God will receive that love and give it back to you in infinitely more beautiful ways that you can imagine. Look at me, I still rambled! I didn't even say half of that stuff in my testimony at Cru! Ahh whatever. God is still teaching me so much from that experience. God is just amazing like that. Do you believe it? Can you feel it? I LOVE you guys!!!!! |
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